Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Loving it? Not so much.

Yes we are loving our new house. We have put a lot of work in it and I promise to post pictures soon. We had to move, I could not live in my mother-in-laws basement forever. The kids like their school, and have made friends, who unfortunately don't live close by, but still they have play dates. D can come home from work for lunch and never gets stuck in traffic. But I can't say I am loving the area. Maybe it is just moving from such a great neighborhood, but I mean we are going on like 3 months and there are a few people at church who say hi to me, but no one comes up and talks to me, no one invites me to sit by them. Even the times I have tried to be social I have been made to feel like an outcast.
I remember when we looked at this house, the owner could not stop talking about what a great ward this was. Well the people behind us are nice, and the people next to us, but not in the same way it was in our old ward. Not in a lets have a girls night out, or oh your sick what can I do for you way. More like a you can trust me to not rob you while you are out of town, but lets not hold a lofty conversation way. I remember even when we were new in our old ward, having at least 3 or 4 neighbors I could ask to bring the kids home from church if I wasn't feeling well. Now I can't even think of someone to make sure M gets home safe from achievement days. (They have it at night so it is dark when she gets home). I hate feeling this way, but now I know why people have a hard time going to church if they don't have a support base.
Yes, I know the church is true. Yes, I will keep going. But it is awful to feel like an outcast, like I have the plague and no one wants to be my friend! I guess I was lucky that I had a chance to make good friends in Orem. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself because I am so sick right now, but all I can say is to everyone in the old neighborhood, I love you, I miss you, and I am bummed about missing bookclub tonight. You guys are the best! Thanks for still letting me come.

12 comments:

Tennille said...

You're not coming to book club tonight?! Dangit--and I was just thinking, "At least she's coming tonight so we can all hug her."

Oh well--big HUGS! I hope it gets better very, very soon.

J Glazier said...

More Big Hugs! Moving from here would be so hard. It's great to hear this to remember to make new ward memebers feel included. Although being primary and YW for the past 3 1/2 years I feel like an outcast myself :) hang in there!

Dani said...

Oh I'm so sorry. I really hope that time will make it better for you. I wont be at book club tonight either (my sis is in town), so I hope to catch you at the next one that will be here at my house.

More big hugs from me!!!

Trieste said...

It's so hard to come to a new ward when you've come to love your old ward. Sometimes it just takes time...I know that probably a lot of people are saying that...but it is true. It happened with us...we loved our old ward and then, they actually dissolved it...we were in another one for about a year and didn't like it much, then moved here and it has taken us a long time to like it, it's still not as great as our first married ward, but it has gotten better. I hope it improves for you too! Where are you guys living now???

Tricia said...

We miss you too! I can be the first one to attest to the fact that's it's hard to move into a new ward, and I absolutely sympathize with everything you've said. I promise you that things will get better!
And if it makes you feel any better, keep in mind that we've all split up too, and everything isn't the same as you left it. But we do miss you!

kingwritergirl said...

We miss you too, and I really missed you at book club. Let me know how things are, and let me know if you need me to take your kids to church! ;)

The Christensen's said...

Oh Sabine...the thing that I think is super sad is that everyone has had this same experience and I think it is so unlike the churches attitude for anyone to feel this way. When we moved here, I seriously felt the exact same way! And I really just wanted to stand on the bench and say..."you know what all of you people...I am totally awesome and you are missing out by not getting to know me" I mean seriously, who would not want to be your friend. It really bugs me that you can't just go and feel loving arms where ever you go...but people are just weird...I have finally decided that not everyone is going to like me and I am not going to love everyone so I am just friendly to those that I don't really care for (sounds so rude...but seriously these people are not nice either) and then I have a few good friends that I feel like are "real" and worth being friends with...but we have been here a year and I am just deciding that life can go on and I will just make the best of it...is it my favorite situation to be in...oh for sure not, but just know you are not alone...and I totally know...we will have to compare Outcast stories...I have a few goodies!!! Love you!

Julie said...

Sabine, I am so sorry you are going through this- especially when you are so sick and need some support. Like others have said- I have totally been there too. For the first time since I have been married, we are in a ward that at least knows who we are and where we live. I wouldn't say that I have any friends here yet- but we have finally had bishopric and Relief Society visits (yeah- first time. ever.) Some wards are just better at it than others- sounds like your last ward was a dream! In the meantime- Is there anything that I can do to help? Do you need dinner or anything?

Tristi Pinkston said...

I know how you feel ...

Lenice said...

Your post made me so sad. I know if takes time to get to know people. It is such a good reminder for us to be the ones who reach out when new people move into our neighborhood and/or ward. I know I can be better at that. You will make friends, just hang in there and know you have tons of people who love and care about you-even if we're not in your ward.

LaurieJ said...

And after all the bragging I did?? I am embarassed...
I loved seeing your kids with d's mom at church the other day. We really miss their (and yours) cute faces!

Holly said...

I know how you feel about moving! The "old" neighborhood is just amazing!!! I'm sure, soon enough, you'll get in a "groove" and people will stop being intimidated by your awesomeness:o)